Ghandi

I keep forgetting the sound of his voice,
the way his face looks.
I keep forgetting how a functional family looks.
I keep forgetting he is part of this family.
I keep forgetting what it's like to be loved,
to be held,
to have someone to run to when your heart is broken.
I keep forgetting what it's like to have a man in my life,
a REAL man.
I keep forgetting what it's like to be happy,
what it's like to see my mom happy.
I keep forgetting how my brother use to be before we lost you.
Before he came home stoned all the time reeking of weed.
I keep forgetting he loves me.
I keep forgetting.
I keep forgetting to just let it be.
I keep forgetting that I'll be able to see him again one day,
Because when I forget,
I sometimes mess up.
I keep forgetting that I'm currently carrying your last name,
and you were a great man, so I should be a great women.
I'll try not forget anymore,
because I love you, Dad.